"Darkness cannot drive out darkness; only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate; only love can do that"
--- Martin Luther King, Jr.
I know that turning the other cheek is easier said than done. Not only as missionaries of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints but as individuals as well, it's almost expected that someone every now and then will challenge our beliefs, our values, our choices, our actions, and our words. And I don't mean this solely in matters of religion but in all matters of life. We live in a contentious world. Nevertheless, even though we are in the world, we don't have to be like the world. Some might even call it a "noble thing" to turn the other cheek, not because it's easy but precisely because it is not easy. Jesus never did the easy thing. Heavenly law is not earthly.
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Both Elder Lopez and I learned and grew together (See "2nd Area: Buena Vista, Matamoros"); he was already over 6 feet tall so I had more growing to do than he did. As new companions, we could not reprimand the ignorance of the other without being a hypocrite because we were both still relatively new missionaries, and we both were doing the best that we could.
From time to time, we'd meet contentious souls who hardened their hearts and sought to prove us wrong and destroy our happiness if they could; such is the draw of being a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints. How anybody can enjoy tearing down another’s faith is beyond me. It's sinister and of the devil (3 Nephi 11:29). Their sort didn't mean well in the least and possessed a portion of that evil spirit. We wasted more time with them than we should have but Elder Lopez and I came to an accord that we would politely walk away whenever they dared bash us which happened often. Walking away is the bigger thing to do. For people who profess to base their arguments on logic and reasoning, none of their arguments were logical or reasonable, instead, their arsenal consisted of blunt blades of blind bias, snares of shady and shallow sources, and nunchucks of nonsensical negative notions of our religion, all of which were designed to indiscriminately refute whatever came out of our mouths, even our most basic professions of who we were, what we did, and what we believed. I could have told them that I was from Utah and they would have told me otherwise, such was their autopilot attitude. But we heeded them not (1 Nephi 8:33), frustrated at their bitter attitudes but undeterred in our quest to seek and serve those who were honest in heart.
THE HONEST IN HEART
I thought about the phrase “honest in heart” a lot during my mission. Remember the Parable of the Sower, or rather unofficially, the "parable of the soils" again. The man on my plane trip probably wasn't a contentious man but I didn't talk to him because I felt that the timing wasn't right (See "Up, Up, and Away!"). His focus was fixed elsewhere. Consider a text message. You could write whatever you want and as much as you want but if the message isn't read, what does the message benefit? My email would have gone right to his spam folder. In the parable, the seed was always good but the kind of soil determined its success. The honest in heart, to me, is the rich soil that receives the seed and gives it chance to grow.
The person who was honest in heart would be the person that would "...experiment upon [our] words, and exercise a particle of faith, yea, even if [they could] no more than desire to believe, let this desire work in [them], even until [they believed] in a manner that ye can give place for a portion of [our] words" (Alma 32:27). The honest in heart is the person who truly wants to know, and is willing to work to know if the restored gospel of Jesus Christ is true or not. They're the person who nourishes the word with diligence, faith, and patience (vs. 42). They're the person who puts their money where their mouth is and is true to their promises (See "Sí, Dios Quiere"). They're the person who doesn't neglect the seed and looks forward to putting the fruit of their labors into good use instead of letting it decay and rot. In short, it's the person who means what they say and cares about what they do.
Again, referring to Moroni’s promise at the end of the Book of Mormon: Another Testament of Jesus Christ, a recipe to receiving revelation—a divine witness of truth is set forth, “…ask with a sincere heart, with real intent, having faith in Christ” (Moroni 10:4). It seemed so basic. I tried the direct approach by simply asking the people we taught to do some sweet introspection, “Do you have a real intent to know if this is true?”. Some confessed that they didn’t so, to their relief, we stopped visiting them and continued our search for truth seekers. What does “honest in heart” mean? To me, it means that when God speaks to us, we listen and respond. But if we aren’t listening or going to respond, we won’t receive answers to our questions.
WHAT WOULD JESUS DO?
Some people misinterpret the “Character of Christ”. Who is Christ and what would He do in my situation? Would He react with anger or love? Understanding Christ is fundamental to following His footsteps. During Christ’s mortal ministry, He and His disciples were often ridiculed by the dominant religious and political parties of the time, the Pharisees and Sadducees (See "Christ's Ministry" and "Obedience: A Sign of Love"). These were the men who held their noses high and thought themselves better than the rest because they claimed to follow the letter of the law of Moses. When Christ came along with the "higher law" or the “New Law”, He was accused of teaching contrary to Moses’ strict teachings. Christ was bold in His response to these critics calling them “Hypocrites”, “Generation of Vipers”, “Of [their] father the devil”, and so forth (Matt 22:18, 12:34; John 8:44).
While Jesus, the Son of God, was justified in His anger, His teachings were never to rebuke those with whom we disagree. Instead, He teaches harmoniously time and time again, “Love thy neighbor as thyself…Love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them which despitefully use you and persecute you” (Matt. 5:43-44). One of the first things Christ says when visiting the people in the Book of Mormon is that “contention is not of me but is of the devil [and] that such things should be done away” (3 Nephi 11:29-30). When a village of the Samaritans did not receive Jesus, James and John saw this and said, “Lord wilt thou that we command fire to come down from heaven, and consume them, even as Elias did?’ But he turned, and rebuked them, and said, ‘Ye know not what manner of spirit ye are” (Luke 9:51-56). The spirit of revenge is not consistent with the Spirit of Christ. Instead of dealing wrathful justice, what did Jesus have them do? “They went to another village.” (vs. 56)
It is not our responsibility to answer every doubt people have. All we can do is offer what we can but move on if they want nothing to do with it. I can testify that contention never brings resolution but just adds lemon juice and salt to the open wound of pride. Pride is a bulldozer of all that is good in the world. If you must choose between having the last word and peace, choose the latter.
THE RIGHT ATTITUDE
I had mixed feelings about being in Matamoros. I learned the truth my first day there about the importance of first impressions. Elder Lopez “warned” me that the Ward only had a handful of baptisms per year and that the work was slow. I wish he didn’t say that. Even if it was the truth, that idea was pessimistic and infected me. Just saying that sent thoughts whizzing through my mind. The first feeling I had was fear of failure. Low expectations produce low results.
The next feeling was pride, “Well then, now that I am here that will change”. Both thoughts were foolish! It was artificial optimism. Don’t get me wrong, hope is the precursor but is not faith in and of itself. Faith is a conscious reliance upon God and a hope based on His will and not our own. The work did not change overnight simply because of my presence. It didn’t change overnight at all! But, I’m sure the work would have been better had Elder Lopez not “warned” me.
I recall President Thomas S. Monson tells a story of when he was serving as Mission President in Canada decades ago (I believe it was in an autobiography of his). He had an area that was sorely struggling. The missionaries’ attitude was pessimistic. Every missionary that was sent there arrived with the preconceived virus of a thought that they were being sent to the worst area in the mission. They were told that the work was slow and that that was how things had always been and would always be. To resolve this attitude, he removed all the missionaries from that area. When those missionaries left and fresh missionaries arrived, they were assigned to that same area and were told that they were getting the best area in the mission. Oh, how envious all other missionaries were of them! They were told how wonderful the members were and how ready the people were to accept the gospel. Would you believe it? That area, which was previously conceived to be the worst area, quickly became the best area both in perception and in results.
What changed? A positive attitude makes the work work. Faith precedes the miracle. You get only what you set out to achieve. Never let anyone lower your expectations. If anything, fake it ‘til you make it. Psychology is a fascinating field of study with real applications. Believe in people and watch them prosper.
I saw first impressions play a role in the effectiveness of missionary work. When a missionary started with hope and faith that there would be success, there was more success to be found than the pessimistic missionary. The pessimistic missionary didn’t put his best foot forward. Instead, he accepted failure from the start because “that’s how it is, that’s how it’s always been, and that’s probably how it’s always going to be”. His bad attitude was a ball and chain that held back all that he could give because he didn’t see the point in trying his best. The optimistic missionary who started in a new area with his faith facing forward didn’t let discouragement slow him down. It was he who went the extra mile and reaped a greater harvest. You see, first impressions matter. Our circumstances do not have to define us! It is our perspective and willingness to make things change. It's important to go into new things expecting the best, not the worst. You will see what you want to see. Seek and ye shall find.
Even in the midst of our hardest circumstances, we can always seek and find the good. We can turn to Joseph of Egypt in the Old Testament as an example. His brothers sold him into slavery. But despite this circumstance, Joseph became the best slave, even becoming the overseer over his house, and all that the master had (Gen. 39:1-3) From there, when he was thrown into prison, he was the best prisoner and "the keeper of the prison committed to Joseph's hand all the prisoners that were in the prison; and whatsoever they did there, he was the doer of it" (Gen. 39:20-23). Eventually, he became the ruler of all the land of Egypt (Gen. 41:43). Years later, his brothers come, the very same who sold him into slavery and who had faked his death. He has to make a decision. Because of the severe famine in Egypt, his brothers would die without his help. He can leave them to die of hunger. Or he can save them. When he sees that they have truly repented of their sins (See "Repentance"), he forgives them, and saves them from starvation! What mercy he had! I hope that we too are as merciful to those around us, just as we hope our Heavenly Father is to us. Don't judge people based on their past. Always look forward.
Forgiveness is one of the best gifts of God. God commands us to forgive everyone (See "Lord, Is it I?"). We're not perfect either. But there's one thing that I know, and it is that the merciful will receive mercy.
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