"I have always found that mercy bears richer fruits than strict justice"
--- Abraham Lincoln (16th President of the United States; 1809 - 1865)
Without going into detail, our District had been struggling with some things before I arrived in the Bugambilias and assumed responsibilities as their District Leader (See "Mission Administration"). In fact, it was revealed to me that their struggles were the very reason why I was transferred to Bugambilias. President Morales assigned me to help bring peace and order to the Area, namely to the missionaries under one roof. So, my question for you to consider is, "How can we be better peacekeepers amidst a world of contention?"
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INTERVIEW WITH THE MISSION PRESIDENT
Mere days after I arrived in Bugambilias, our entire District was called into the Mission Offices for early morning interviews with President Morales (See "Mission Administration"). We called a taxi and the six of us crammed in for the roughly 20-minute ride to the Mission Offices. The six of us sat and talked as we waited for each to take a turn with President Morales. We started with the Elder furthest on my right. He was only gone a few minutes and then the next Elder went in for his turn. He took slightly longer. Then came what was supposed to be my turn but President skipped me and called the Elder to my left to go in. The remaining Elders went in sequentially for their interviews, each taking longer than the last. I think of the words of Nephi in the Book of Mormon: Another Testament of Jesus Christ:
"…I said unto them that I knew that I had spoken hard things against the wicked, according to the truth; and the righteous have I justified…the guilty taketh the truth to be hard, for it cutteth them to the very center.” (1 Nephi 16:2)
I had a clean conscience. I really had nothing dire to discuss with President Morales but I still thought that maybe I'd be interviewed just the same. Most mission presidents hold monthly interviews with each missionary but I’d only had a single interview with him about fifteen months earlier back in Rio Bravo! Most of the missionaries in our Mission had intermittent interviews, although we didn’t really do monthly interviews, but not me. Like everyone else, we communicated weekly by email, but the only times I'd actually see President Morales was for Mission Activities and conferences. I took it to be a good thing, nothing personal, as the other Elders assured me. I took it to mean that President knew that I was good and that he had nothing problematic to discuss with me. The time saved not worrying about me was spent on other important matters and fixing things that needed fixing with others. If I would have asked for an interview, I could have gotten one, but as I said, I didn't have much to tell him that I couldn't do via email.
I ask you to consider what Judgment Day will be like. Will we have a clean conscience and look forward to standing before Heavenly Father? Nobody lives perfect lives, and Heavenly Father doesn't expect us to, but I hope that we are trying our best. Our Church Leaders are called by God to help us understand the Atonement of Jesus Christ, so every time we have an interview for a temple recommend, or every time a baptismal interview is conducted, or even an interview with a Mission President (See "Mission Administration"), remember that it's like having an interview with the Savior. If we strive to live the gospel of Jesus Christ and repent continually, then I know that we will have nothing to fear when that day comes. (See "Repentance" and "Return of the King -- The Final Part")
After the fifth and last Elder finished his troublingly long interview, President asked all six of us to congregate in his office. I think it was the first time I'd ever been in the Mission President's office. He didn’t mince words. He boldly emphasized the importance of getting “our” act together. He warned all the guys that he was looking to me to supervise and report that each did what he should and that I would alert him if any of them were causing trouble. I felt so bad for these other good Elders. The tension in the room was tangible. They were very much my friends but simultaneously I felt like their babysitter at that moment. As we file out of his office, I at the caboose of the solemn train, President grins at me and gives me a pat of confidence on the shoulder, and that was it. No words needed. I never got interviewed or reprimanded. Just the opposite. As I said before, regardless of my leadership responsibilities or the lack thereof, my only goal was to be a problem-solver and not a problem-maker for my Mission President. (See "Faith and Trust")
DISTRICT MEETING
I remind you that at this point in the Mission, ever since I became a District Leader with Elder Yagual in Las Torres, there were two co-District Leaders instead of one (See "4th Area: Las Torres, Matamoros"). By the time I was District Leaders with Elder De León, I'd been a District Leader for about 6 months now. In that half a year, I'd gained experience working with different missionaries, getting to know them, and pondering their individual needs. Having the six of us all living together under the same roof made it easy to track their progress, not just in terms of lessons they taught, but also in terms of their emotional and spiritual growth as companionships and individuals. When you live together, you see things that aren't inherent in a number report. That's also why intercambios were so important and why as valuable as numbers are, they aren't everything.
Even though our District lived together, we had to travel to the chapel every Monday morning, which was our P-Day, to have training meetings as a Zone (Both Districts together for a total of about 12 guys). During the week, I'd prayerfully consider what I could teach and practice with the District that would be of "Most Worth" to them to help them be more successful. After all, training meetings weren't speeches, they were interactive learning opportunities. Then I'd discuss it with my companion, and we'd prepare a training meeting to discuss what is going well and what more we could do to improve.
If I saw something that a specific companionship needed, then I'd bring it up with them during the week, otherwise, when I observed something that would be best discussed with everyone, I made it the theme of the District Meeting for that week. Themes we had included: spiritual maturity, obedience, Christ-like attributes, following up on previous invitations, and goal setting. Each training meeting was wonderful. Each was prepared thoughtfully and prayerfully with an end goal in mind. One of the things I was excited for when I became a District Leader was being able to make the training meetings fun, and not so dry or serious all the time. Of course, they had to be productive, but I feel like I accomplished all those objectives of mine. We hoped that a deeper commitment would be instilled in the hearts of the District and that any personal issues would resolve themselves with the principles of hope and charity. I've never been one to give tough love, but it was my hope that I could still be a Christ-like leader and love my team and set the example for them to work equally hard and compassionately. I recall one training meeting we titled, “Man in the Mirror” after the popular Michael Jackson song, a song that invites us to turn outward and to look inward. We all want to make a change in the world, but we need to start with ourselves. Most of us know the lyrics well:
“I’m starting with the man in the mirror I’m asking him to change his ways And no message could have been any clearer If you wanna make the world a better place Take a look at yourself, and then make a change”
I always believed that my responsibility as a leader was to help prepare other leaders. I'm not the kind of person to seek power or authority over others. It's one of the reasons why I asked not to be promoted to a Zone Leader. I hate telling other people what to do because I feel like it often undermines their agency, intelligence, and competency. In my experience, my worst leaders were the ones who micromanaged and questioned everything I did. I didn't want to be the person to command in all things because I believe in acting, not being acted upon like puppets (2 Nephi 2:26). The sort of improvement we hoped for would be fostered introspectively, each governing himself and accepting responsibility for his own actions. I didn’t want to parent these fully capable adults but we did feel a responsibility to teach every man his duty and to lead by example as their leaders. Actions speak louder than words and at the end of the day, all of us were just normal people doing the best we could.
I have a testimony that we can't and shouldn't control others. The great purpose of the Plan of Happiness and Salvation was that mankind would retain their ability to choose for themselves (See "The Return of the King --- Part 1"). It was Lucifer's plan that we be forced in all things. While we can't control what others do, what we can control is our own actions and attitudes.
It might have been our first District Meeting together when we talked about what it means to be a man, that is to say, to be mature; the reason being that I recognized things in our District that were unbecoming of a representative of Jesus Christ. When I shared this scripture, one that I myself had heard shared in a training meeting nearly a year and a half earlier in Rio Bravo, it was as if none of the guys under my District had heard it before, all of them asked me where to find it and each and every one of them turned to it and marked it in their scriptures. Says the Apostle Paul:
“When I was a child, I spake as a child, I understood as a child, I thought as a child: but when I became a man, I put away childish things.” (1 Cor. 13:11)
We also talked about the prophet Elijah of the Old Testament who was more often than not referred to as “man of God” and how we would do well to be worthy of such a title or name ourselves as missionaries. I thought about Phil Collin's lyrics from Disney’s Tarzan “Son of Man” which I feel describes missionary life, after all, Jesus himself often referred to himself as “The Son of Man”, a title both noble and humble. Son of Man felt like an appropriate and encompassing theme for an entire District Meeting.
“In learning you will teach. And in teaching you will learn...Son of Man, look to the sky. Lift your spirit, set it free. Someday you'll walk tall with pride. Son of Man, a man in time you'll be”
To top it off, we talked about another Disney movie Phil Collins is affiliated with, “Brother Bear” or as it’s called in Spanish “Tierra de Osos” (Land of Bears). For those who may be unfamiliar with the movie, Brother Bear is about a young man named Kenai who is coming of age. According to the customs of his tribe, the elderly shawoman goes up into a high mountain seeking spiritual revelation concerning the individual. She comes down the mountain having received a wooden Spirit Totem in the form of an animal representing a virtue that the person must live by in order to "become a man". When faithful to his totem, he earns the privilege of adding his red handprint to the wall alongside those of his ancestors.
Like the wise shawoman, we too have leaders who receive revelation for us from Mission leaders to prophets to Patriarchs (See "Patriarchs and Potters"). Sometimes this revelation is received from the mountain of the Lord (See "Temples -- Holy Houses of the Lord"). We are promised that if we are diligent to what revelations are given, whether they be counsel, commandments, or Gifts of the Spirit, we will be blessed. I invite you to consider what revelations the Lord has given you to help you reach your eternal potential.
In mimicry of Brother Bear, I took a red whiteboard marker and outlined my hand on the whiteboard, and autographed the palm of it. We had a brainstorming session to set individual and District goals. After we discussed what we all wanted to achieve together, the guys wanted to come up to the board and likewise trace their hand on the whiteboard in red ink and autograph their palm, almost like a contract or a covenant to be better missionaries and men of God from thereon out. A blood oath in red marker.
We never smoothed out every rough edge. I suppose it's in our nature to always have something more to do or improve, but I felt like we stepped in the right direction. We started by looking inward that we might better love and serve those in our care.
FORGIVENESS & MERCY
When we are tempted to point fingers or blame others, I invite us to take a step back and humbly ask, "Lord, is it I?" (Matt. 26:21-22). Am I the one in the wrong? Everybody is imperfect and we live in a fallen world (See "Return of the King -- Part 1"), but part of the wisdom of Heavenly Father's Plan is that He allows us to make mistakes from time to time in order to learn, to humble us, and to improve us. Our hard times remind us that we are ultimately reliant upon God (See "Become As Little Children"). God is merciful with us and asks us that we be merciful to each other. Jesus Christ has said:
"I, the Lord, will forgive whom I will forgive, but of you it is required to forgive all men." (D&C 64:10)
"Blessed are the merciful: for they shall obtain mercy." (Matt. 5:7)
We are commanded to forgive everybody, even when it's hard to do. Perhaps, especially when it's hardest. We don't always know all the reasons why people do what they do. At times we might be so distracted with the "mote" in our brother's eye that we fail to recognize the "beam" in ours (Matt. 7:5). All of us are trying to do the best with what we have. We need to see others as children of God, as our Heavenly Father sees them, and experience a little bit of the love that He feels for them. Just as He loves us when we make mistakes, and He is patient and merciful with us, if we are to become as He is, we need to practice patience and mercy too. We need to assume responsibility for our own mistakes and use them as opportunities to grow. Instead of focusing on the bad in others, we need to look for the good in them. Helping people see their strengths is just as valuable as their revealing their weaknesses and is more edifying and pleasant. Everybody is a child of God and has good within them, and we can't force anybody to change, but have faith that at the end of the day, Heavenly Father is the only one who completely understands them and knows them perfectly, and is the only one who can judge them or us.
Which is the great commandment in the law? Jesus said unto him:
"Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind. This is the first and great commandment . And the second is like unto it, Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself." (Matt. 22:36-39)
"A new commandment I give unto you, That ye love one another; as I have loved you, that ye also love one another. By this shall all men know that ye are my disciples, if ye have love one to another." (John 13:34-35)
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