"They without us cannot be made perfect—neither can we without our dead be made perfect"
What happens after death? What happens to all the people who were never baptized? What about infants? Do infants need baptism? What is the point of family history? What is the purpose of temples? These are among the questions that will be answered in this blog post. The following blog posts are highly related:
**NOTE: If you wish to get in contact with missionaries of the Church to learn more, you can do so at https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/comeuntochrist/requests/missionary-visit
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ANCIENT CULTURAL TRADITIONS
It's easy for us to skip over the lengthy genealogies that are recorded in the scriptures (See "The Holy Bible: A Testament of Jesus Christ"). But genealogy was a significant part of ancient culture all over the world, including Jerusalem. It was utilized by the Jews as a touchstone of the forthcoming promised Messiah (Jer. 23:5-8; 33:17) which is why it was emphasized by the authors of the New Testament as a means of convincing the Jews of Jesus' legitimacy as that Messiah. The Messiah was prophesied to be of the lineage of King David. As was prophesied in the Old Testament, Jesus' lineage was "a branch out of the roots and a rod out of the stem of Jesse" (Isaiah 11:1; 2 Nephi 21:1) and was often referred to as the "son of David" whose father was Jesse (Mark 10:47-48); which is in reference to the same shepherd turned King David who slew Goliath (1 Sam. 17). The two lineages recorded in the New Testament differ a little but both are valid if we are to understand ancient Jewish customs and their intended audience. The first gospel of Matthew, some argue, describes the legal descent of Joseph through the regal line as the heir of David, and the third chapter of Luke accounts the natural descent of Jesus through Joseph’s lineage who we recognize as a father figure and caregiver even though he wasn't Jesus' biological father, rather Heavenly Father was (Matt. 1; Luke 3). Ultimately, the Jews rejected and crucified Jesus because they were expecting a different kind of king, or Messiah, who would be the political ruler who'd free them from bondage to the Romans; they didn't understand that His kingdom was "not of this world" and that He would save them from the bondage of sin and death (See "What Is Truth? Faith and Science").
Even from the beginning of the World, we learn from the Pearl of Great Price that Adam kept a genealogical record (Moses 6:5-8). Suffice it to say that our desire to know where we come from is as ancient as it is eternally relevant.
The Day of the Dead & Halloween
Cemeteries are pensive grounds. I've spent a good amount of time in them. The Spanish word for them, or rather the "Mexican" word, is Panteón (Pah-n-tay-own), and rightly so because some of the cemeteries in Mexico were about as big as the Roman pantheon.
Most people nowadays are familiar with the Day of the Dead; a sort of ancestral thanksgiving. A Memorial Day. A time to pay respects and to remember predecessors. The Day of the Dead’s origins can be dated back about 3,000 years ago to an Aztec festival dedicated to the goddess Mictecacihuatl, which literally translates to "Lady of the Dead", who was regarded as the goddess of the underworld, Mictlán. Upon dying, a person was believed to travel to Chicunamictlán, the Land of the Dead. Only after getting through nine challenging levels, a journey of several years, could the person’s soul finally reach Mictlán, the final resting place. In Nahua rituals honoring the dead, traditionally held in August, family members provided food, water, and tools to aid the deceased in this difficult journey. But beginning at the turn of the 20th century, the “Lady of the Dead” accidentally evolved to the contemporary festive figure known as La Calavera Catrina which was originally supposed to be a political statement about Mexicans adopting European fashions over their own heritage and traditions. La Catrina has since become the referential image of Death in Mexico. Not one of fear, but one that is almost satirical and joyful and colorful. The Catrina is largely responsible for the popularity of the skull icon we associate with the holiday (called Calaveras) as evident in their intricacy and skillful craftsmanship. Additionally, skeletons, otherwise called "Calacas" remain popular symbols of the Day of the Dead. In pre-Columbian times the images of skulls and skeletons were shown often in paintings, pottery, etc. representing rebirth into the next stage of life.
Purportedly, when the Spaniards colonized Mexico, they changed the traditional Aztec ceremony from summer to coincide with the Western Christianity triduum of Allhallowtide: All Saints’ Eve, All Saints’ Day, and All Souls’ Day which corresponds with Oct 31 to Nov 2, and blended the traditional practices with their own European customs as conquistadors usually did, who considered original Aztec practices pagan and tried to replace it with Christian observances. This seems to be the story that gave rise to Halloween as well. However; In medieval Spain, people would bring wine and pan de ánimas (spirit bread) to the graves of their loved ones on All Souls Day; they would also cover graves with flowers and light candles to illuminate the dead souls’ way back to their homes on Earth. In the 16th century, Spanish conquistadores brought such traditions with them to the New World. On the Day of the Dead, it’s believed that the border between the spirit world and the real world dissolve. During this brief period, the souls of the dead awaken and return to the living world to feast, drink, dance, and play music with their loved ones. In turn, the living family members treat the deceased as honored guests in their celebrations and leave the deceased’s favorite foods and other offerings at gravesites or on the ofrendas built in their homes. This is a clear example of ancient Aztec tradition mixing with Spanish Christian tradition. To this day, the Day of the Dead more closely resembles its original religious purpose of celebrating those who came before.
I’m sure that the scope of celebration varies on the city but in general, decorating the cemeteries and ofrendas with items is the standard. The vibrant marigolds that decorate the shrines are said to attract the spirits of the dead to their respective altars with their beauty. When these seasonal shrines weren’t on display, you could bet on some year-round ancestral display on the shelves in their homes fit with pictures and candles, and some representation of the Virgen Maria de Guadalupe, the Mexican version of the Catholic Virgin Mary.
The origins of Halloween seem to be a blend of customs when Christianity spread to Celtic lands. First, in the early 7th century, the Catholic feast of All Martyrs Day was established to honor Christian martyrs. In the 8th century, it was changed to Allhallowtide to honor "All Saints", of which the Catholic church has many (although we as members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints avoid all forms of worship or prayer not directed toward Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ). It was at a later time that some of the pagan customs and traditions of the ancient Celtic religious festival "Samhain", which predated "Allhallowtide" by roughly 1200 years, were mixed into the holiday which gave birth to the supernatural, mythological, and magical features associated with our modern-day "Halloween". Nowadays, Halloween is more commercial than anything and doesn't really have anything to do with honoring predecessors.
Although the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints differs from the Catholic church in some beliefs and practices, we have much in common as Christians and as people. We believe that life extends beyond the grave. We believe in eternal families. We believe in a spirit world too.
However, due to the Restoration of the gospel, which commenced in the 1800s with a new living prophet on the Earth, additional understanding has been revealed and continues to be revealed (See "Apostasy and Restoration"). This is why the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints has a unique understanding of life after death.
THE SPIRIT WORLD
What are spirits like?
The spirit and the body are the soul of man (D&C 88:15). Death is the separation of body and spirit. The resurrection is the reuniting of the spirit with its body in its perfect form. Spirit beings have the same bodily form as mortals except that the spirit body is in perfect form (Ether 3:16); that is to say that even in Spirit, even in death as we are in life, we are made in the image and likeness of God (Gen. 1:26-27). This also means that contrary to some common depictions of the spiritual in a lot of entertainment, we will not be shapeless or otherwise unnatural or scary-looking ghostly beings. Neither will we have wings like some artistic representations of angels do. Our spiritual form is similar to our human form. If we could see spirits, we would see people very similar to anybody else, except in its perfect form. This means that any physical deformities or impairments that we have in life will not exist either in our spirit form or in the resurrection.
From modern revelation, we learn that:
"There is no such thing as immaterial matter. All spirit is matter, but it is more fine or pure, and can only be discerned by purer eyes; We cannot see it; but when our bodies are purified we shall see that it is all matter." (D&C 131:7-8)
The spirit is eternal. We lived together with Heavenly Father before being born (Jer. 1:5; see also "Counsel in Councils") and our spirit will continue to exist after death.
Spirits carry with them from earth their attitudes of devotion or antagonism toward things of righteousness (Alma 34:34). They have the same appetites and desires that they had when they lived on earth. That is why what we do now during our lives is so important; because who we are when we die will not change. Therefore, the kind of person we are is as important as what we do. That's why we don't believe in deathbed repentance (See "Repentance" and "Night of No Labor"). This life is as much a time to prepare to meet God as it is meant to be joyful. It is not enough to be a "good person". We prepare to meet God by keeping the commandments, which includes making sacred covenants, repenting, and becoming more Christ-like. This is what we mean by "works". (See "More Than Good")
The scriptures refer to the place where the spirit goes after death as "The Spirit World". It is a temporary place where we will await the resurrection which will begin during the Millennium (See "Return of the King -- Part 5").
What is the Spirit World Like?
The prophet Alma in the Book of Mormon: Another Testament of Jesus Christ taught that there are two divisions or "states" in the spirit world: Paradise and Spirit Prison.
In paradise, the righteous spirits rest from earthly care and sorrow (Alma 40:12). Nevertheless, they are occupied with doing the work of the Lord. Past prophet of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints, Joseph F. Smith (1838-1918), saw in a vision that immediately after Jesus Christ was crucified, He visited the righteous in the spirit world (1 Peter 3:19). He appointed messengers, gave them power and authority, and commissioned them to “carry the light of the gospel to them that were in darkness, even to all the spirits of men” (D&C 138:30); In other words, in the few days that Jesus' physical body laid in the tomb, His spirit went to open the way for missionary work in the Spirit World to give many in Spirit Prison the chance to progress to a state of paradise. This is significant because, with His death AND resurrection, He made the "Redemption of the Dead" possible, as we will continue reading about later below.
Being in paradise is not the same as returning to the presence of God. That occurs after the resurrection. Furthermore, in order to do that, which is to say have "Eternal Life", we need to make and keep sacred covenants. While all righteous spirits go to paradise, they still need to accept the same gospel and covenants as everyone else who did, including baptism by immersion. One example that illustrates this takes place during Jesus' crucifixion. Two criminals were crucified on either side of Jesus. One of the criminals says, "We receive the due reward of our deeds: but this man hath done nothing amiss". And he said unto Jesus, "Lord, remember me when thou comest into thy kingdom". To this Jesus responds, "Verily I say unto thee, To day shalt thou be with me in paradise." (Luke 23:43)
In Spirit prison are two categories of people: those who were wicked in mortality and those who have not yet received the gospel of Jesus Christ.
The Apostle Peter referred to the postmortal spirit world as a prison, which it is for some, symbolically speaking (1 Peter 3:18–20). These spirits have agency (See "Return of the King -- Part 1") and may be enticed by both good and evil. The spirits may progress as they learn gospel principles and live in accordance with them. The spirits in paradise can teach the spirits in prison (D&C 138). If they accept the gospel and the ordinances performed for them in the temples, they may leave the spirit prison and dwell in paradise. I'll continue explaining what this means further on.
Also in the spirit prison are those who rejected the gospel after it was preached to them either on earth or in the spirit prison. These spirits suffer in a condition known as hell. They have removed themselves from the mercy of Jesus Christ, who said, “Behold, I, God, have suffered these things for all, that they might not suffer if they would repent; but if they would not repent they must suffer even as I; which suffering caused myself, even God, the greatest of all, to tremble because of pain, and to bleed at every pore, and to suffer both body and spirit” (D&C 19:16–18). After suffering for their sins, they will be allowed, through the Atonement of Jesus Christ after the resurrection, to inherit the lowest degree of glory, which is the Telestial kingdom. (See "Return of the King -- The Final Part")
Where is the Spirit World?
Brigham Young (1801-1877), a past prophet of the Church, taught that the postmortal spirit world is on the earth, around us. Consider the purpose of "the creation" (See "The Plan of Happiness and Salvation"). The Earth was created for us to inhabit, and one day, it will be our eternal inheritance (See "Return of the King -- The Final Part"). Thus it is said, "Blessed are the meek for they shall inherit the earth." (Matt. 5:5)
THOSE WHO DIE WITHOUT OPPORTUNITY
In the sections above, we learned where the spirits of those who die go if they didn't have the opportunity to accept the gospel in life. But we also learned that they have the opportunity to progress from Spirit Prison to Paradise if they accept the gospel when they learn about it in Spirit Prison AND accept the ordinances performed for them in temples. What does this mean?
Of the billions of people who have ever lived, how many of them never had the opportunity to learn about Jesus Christ or had the chance to be baptized? Many! It would be unfair of a just and loving God to condemn these people who through no fault of their own did not have access to the gospel or priesthood ordinances (See "Priesthood"). That's why they will have the opportunity to learn and accept the gospel in the Spirit World. This is a doctrine and truth that is unique to the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints.
What happens to infants and young children who die?
Through the loving mercy of Heavenly Father, He has revealed that all little children are saved in the kingdom of heaven:
"All children are alike unto me; wherefore, I love little children with a perfect love; and they are all alike and partakers of salvation." (Moroni 8:17)
Because Baptism is for "the remission of sins", He has further revealed that infants and little children have no need of baptism because they cannot repent because they are incapable of sin (8:8,11,19). As I've said before, no one is born a sinner, and there is no such thing as "original sin"; everyone will only be responsible before God for their own actions (See "Repentance"). In fact, in the Book of Mormon, we learn that the baptism of little children is an abomination and "an evil mockery before God" (vs. 9), Infants and little children are pure, and sinless, and are alive in Christ. Therefore, they are the only group exempt from the need for ordinances with the exception of being "sealed" to his or her parents, which I will discuss further on.
What happens to all others who die without the gospel?
What about all those other billions of people who died before being baptized? Baptism is an essential ordinance (See "Baptism by Immersion"). Jesus Christ was baptized to show us, "The straitness of the path, and the narrowness of the gate, by which [we] should enter, he having set the example" (2 Nephi 31:9). Said Jesus to Nicodemus, "Verily, verily, I say unto thee, Except a man be born of water and of the Spirit, he cannot enter into the kingdom of God (John 3:5).
A spirit does not have a physical body whereby he or she can be baptized by water. But again, the solution has been revealed through the restored gospel in the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints (See "Apostasy and Restoration"). The solution is called, "Baptisms for the Dead" whereby a member of the Church can perform proxy baptisms in the temple, meaning that they represent and can be baptized on the behalf of a deceased individual, giving them the opportunity to either accept or reject the ordinance in the Spirit World. This is why temples are so essential (See "Temples -- Holy Houses of the Lord")! Not all who have died will use their agency to choose to accept the ordinances in the Spirit World (See "Return of the King -- Part 1") but everyone needs to have the opportunity. Baptisms for the Dead are not new; they were also performed in the time of Paul. (1 Cor. 15:29)
Proxy ordinances are sometimes called vicarious ordinances. Again, this means that a person symbolically represents another person and can act in a deceased person's place to receive an ordinance on their behalf. Proxy ordinances can only be performed in temples and are done for and in behalf of the deceased person's name one at a time. The person acting as a proxy is not considered to be baptized or receive any other ordinances more than once for his or herself.
Taking Names to the Temple
The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints is a church of order. With billions of people throughout time who have not had the opportunity to be baptized, how do we go about figuring out who they are? By necessity, there has to be a record of who has and who has not received the ordinances of the gospel.
More than only learning about our ancestors, we also strive to serve our predecessors by organizing information about them so that we can perform the necessary work for them in the temple on their behalf. Thanks to the incredible services provided by the Church and associates, we can keep records of everybody who has had temple work performed for them so as not to have duplicates. That's why accurate family history records are so vital to us.
Through the Church's record systems, we prepare "names" to "take to the temple". This means that we fill out an online record that we can print out and take to the temple, or have them print out at the temple. This is a physical copy that includes the deceased person's basic information such as dates of birth and death, sex, where they're from, immediate family members, spouse's name and date of marriage if married, and full name. On the card will be areas marked with the date when each ordinance was performed if completed. This also helps assure that each ordinance is performed in order, the first being baptism followed by confirmation and so on.
When we perform proxy ordinances in the temple, we represent the individual on one of these cards. Males can only perform proxy ordinances for males. Females can only perform proxy ordinances for females.
So, as you can see, the temple is all about serving others who have gone before. This is where Family History work comes into play.
FAMILY HISTORY & THE SPIRIT OF ELIJAH
The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints believes in something called “the Spirit of Elijah”. I've already spoken somewhat about this in "Return of the King -- Part 4.2" which you can go back and read. This has reference to the last verses of the Old Testament that read:
“Behold, I will send you Elijah the prophet before the coming of the great and dreadful day of the Lord: And he shall turn the heart of the fathers to the children, and the heart of the children to their fathers, lest I come and smite the earth with a curse.” (Mal. 4:5-6)
When the angel Moroni visited Joseph Smith the night of September 21, 1823, this scripture was stated a bit differently (See "Return of the King -- Part 4.1" and "Joseph Smith -- A Name Had For Good and Evil"):
“Behold, I will reveal unto you the Priesthood, by the hand of Elijah the prophet, before the coming of the great and dreadful day of the Lord. And he shall plant in the hearts of the children the promises made to the fathers, and the hearts of the children shall turn to their fathers. If it were not so, the whole earth would be utterly wasted at his coming.” (D&C 2:1–3)
What does it mean to "Be Sealed" to someone?
On April 3, 1836, Elijah appeared to Joseph Smith and Oliver Cowdery in the Kirtland Temple and there conferred upon them the power to bind, or "seal", on earth and in heaven (D&C 110). Elijah held the authority to seal for time and eternity all the ordinances pertaining to the fullness of salvation. If Elijah had not come we are led to believe that all the work of past ages would have been of little avail, for the Lord said the whole earth, under such conditions, "would be utterly wasted at his coming". Put simply, the sealing power that was restored by Elijah links us to each other into the eternities. To "be sealed" to someone means that they will be a part of your family forever, in death as in life. This is what allows temple marriages to be valid in heaven and to not be just, "Til death do you part". Only by being "sealed" as a couple are marriages in heaven perpetuated. Sealings can only be performed in temples by a "temple sealer", a man who has been delegated the priesthood sealing authority from the Temple President as from the prophet. (See "Return of the King -- Part 4.2", "Church Organization", "Priesthood", and Sealing)
I won't go into too much detail, but when couples are sealed as husband and wife, they kneel at an altar in a "sealing room" in the temple, which is symbolic (as you can see above). They hold each others' hands, and they make promises to each other and to God. This is also significant because as opposed to any other marriage ceremony, in the temple all ordinances, including marriage, involve making a promise with God as well as your spouse. The temple sealer officiates the ceremony. The proxy ordinance is similar. Mirrors facing each other in the sealing room are meant to symbolize eternity and the eternal promises of the temple. Everything in the temple carries symbolism meant to turn us toward Jesus Christ.
Heavenly Father's plan of happiness is centered around eternal families. Sealings are performed in the temple for both the living and the dead. In addition to being "sealed" together as husband and wife, children are also sealed to their parents. This can include children whose parents were not sealed at the time they were born. Or this may be performed as a proxy ordinance (all other ordinances being completed first) in the case of someone whose parents passed away, or both children and parents have passed away. And when I say "children" I don't refer to any specific age. I mean, a son or daughter to his or her parents. When a child is born to parents who were "sealed" in the temple at the time of their birth, it is said that they are "born in the covenant", meaning that they are already considered "sealed" to their parents and that that ordinance is completed by default.
As mentioned, Family history is more than finding names, dates, and places and gathering stories. It is about providing temple ordinances that unite families for eternity. Joseph Smith in 1842 explained, as did Paul, that:
"They without us cannot be made perfect—neither can we without our dead be made perfect."(D&C 128:15; Heb.11:40)
This is the Spirit of Elijah—the uniting of God’s family forever.
The work of redeeming the dead is essential to the salvation of both the living and the dead, and the Prophet Joseph Smith (1805-0844) taught the importance of participating in this work:
“The greatest responsibility in this world that God has laid upon us is to seek after our dead”.
Family History -- Fun and Easy
We begin by redeeming the dead by searching them out through genealogy. As a matter of fact, the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints has the largest collection of family records in the world with information of more than three Billion deceased people. FamilySearch is a non-profit organization that provides free access to information from a hundred countries, including birth, marriage, and death records, censuses, probates and wills, land records, and more. These records are made available to the public through the FamilySearch.org website, the world-renowned Family History Library in Salt Lake City, Utah, and through a network of 4,600 local family history centers in 126 countries. One pastime of mine is indexing (digitally archiving) old records, which is something anybody can do from the comfort of their home and at their leisure. Thanks to the masses of volunteers around the world, searching for old documents and information about our ancestors is becoming easier and easier for everyone.
Something else that I've spent many hours on is visiting cemeteries. Through various websites like Findagrave and Billiongraves, people have free access to basic burial information of loved ones as made possible through volunteers. As a volunteer, I've spent many summer hours walking through local cemeteries photographing and recording gravestone information for people to be able to look up and access online. It adds another layer of realism to me to literally seek these people out, some of whom may not have had visitors in a long time, and to help preserve their memory and information for their posterity. I highly recommend it. It's like time traveling and making friends all in one.
So as you can see, as a church, we care very much for our deceased because we understand that death is not the end. We erect temples so that we can give those in the spirit world the opportunity to accept the ordinances and blessings that we enjoy. Temples are more than a place of worship. They are the key to eternal families.
We don't have to wait until our loved ones are gone to do family history work for them. Just like many people did in the past, we can keep a journal. Or thanks to the technology of our day, it's easier than ever to take photos and make home videos. You might consider conducting an interview or sharing a family story for posterity to read, watch, or listen to at some future day. My family found an old letter that my grandma wrote to "her future grandchildren" which we found after her passing which is incredible. There is no time like the present to prepare for tomorrow. We never know how much time we have.
Thanks to the advances in genetics and technology, it's becoming easier to see how we all connect. There is an incredible show called "Relative Race" that my family enjoys watching where 4 teams of two go on a 10-day road trip to discover family members. Many of the contestants were adopted and never knew their biological family or information about where they came from. And it is SO powerful to see them meet their family members for the first time and see the warmth and love and answers to the questions of the soul come out. Some of these people meet siblings that they never knew existed. Some of them meet cousins, and uncles, and aunts. And some of them even meet their parents! I can't imagine what it would be like to suddenly have your mom or dad in front of you after decades of not knowing if you'd ever get that chance to meet them! We should never take our families for granted. I testify that it is a divine compass within us that makes us yearn to know who we are, and where we come from.
THE RESURRECTION
Graves in Mexico were all very different. Some people had building-like monuments built around their shiny marble coffins. Others had typical tombstone markers; most of which bore the symbol of the cross. The poorest tombs consisted of a wooden cross stuck in a mound of dirt heaped over the body only a few inches deep, some without coffins. They looked like body-shaped mounds. How chilling it was to look at the dirt mound and know that there was not much between me and the skeleton of the deceased under it. I don’t know the specifics of how the burial worked but I didn’t question that something was there. Yet, at the same time, whenever I saw the cemetery, I couldn’t help but feel profound love of the gospel and the knowledge the Plan of Salvation gives us. I imagine the glorious resurrection of Jesus Christ. I imagine Mary who wept when she found that Jesus’ body was not to be found in its resting place. Said the angels:
“He is not here, for He is risen!” (Matt. 28:6; see also "Christ's Ministry")
Imagine that day when all who have ever lived will come forth in the resurrection and the graveyard becomes vacant, to give up its dead and to become an immortal family reunion when spirits will be reunited with their bodies in their perfect form, ever to die or suffer again. That's what the resurrection is! A necessary component to be as God is, but also a blessing and eternal gift made possible through the Atonement of Jesus Christ (See "Great Sacrifice"). A resurrection to fulfill the ultimate purpose of our existence and unlock our eternal potential (See "Eternal Life: As God Is"). There will be no more tears at that day. Only joy. This I know, that death has no sting and that we will be with our loved ones again forever. It is one of the greatest truths made possible only through the restored gospel of Jesus Christ.
TWO VASTLY DIFFERENT KINDS OF FUNERALS
Within 3 days of each other, we missionaries were asked to attend not one, but two funerals. I hadn’t been in the Jardín area long enough to have known the deceased but I felt a reverence and a love for those suffering the loss of this friend. I watched the faces of many as they came into the chapel. There was a slowness in their step. For a moment, I got a glimpse of what Jesus must have felt when He went to Lazarus and found Mary crying for her dead brother. Jesus moved with compassion asked where He lay. And then the scribe wrote that shortest scriptural verse, “Jesus Wept”. (John 11:35)
We missionaries of the small city quickly rehearsed some peaceful hymns to sing at the service. It was the first funeral. We stood on the stand at the head of the chapel behind the pulpit with the casket just below us although the large flower displays blocked most of the congregation from my view. As we sang, there was a heaviness in the air; some wept loudly, others held it together. The first man’s funeral was not a popular one, at least not to us. He was the husband of a recent convert. In life, he had been a rude man; one who was quick to get in the missionaries’ faces or chase them away with angry threats. His widow was a kind woman of good faith but broken nonetheless. Her husband was killed in a freak car accident and she asked that her friends, the missionaries, attend. We agreed for her sake. We arrived that evening just as everyone was entering the cemetery together. At first, the silence was intense but that all took a turn. Her crying was uncontrollable and pierced the air like a hysterical banshee during the whole service including the burial which was well attended despite the strong summer sun. Of those present, a choice formed and sang some kind of Christian hymns; all of which seemed gloomy and repetitive, and kind of pitiful to be honest. Most of the service must have been them singing. Then there was a surge of uncontrollable crying and the priest from their church started an aggressive prayer using the Lord's name excessively as the other 20 or so choir members started talking over each other in a similar manner. And at long last, the close family threw themselves on the closed coffin before it was raised and buried, and sealed in its place in the earth and the garden of flowers was placed on top. It was like seeing the funeral of Jairus' daughter in the New Testament where all the professional mourners made a piercingly painful spectacle of the event (Mark 5:38). No disrespect to them, but it was truly heartbreaking to watch them because I knew to them, this was the end. The second funeral service was for an elderly man who couldn’t beat the clock. He went peacefully at a seasoned time in his life. His funeral was very different. I don’t recall it to be as well attended as the first man but there was a greater feeling of peace among all those who attended. He had been a faithful member of the church and there was a stillness and assurance in the face of his widow. Though naturally pained at the passing, this woman looked at her husband’s open casket with an assuring grin of love that matched his that all was okay. This was a couple who understood that death was not the end and had done well in life to treasure that eternal marriage. Theirs was not a permanent separation but a temporal one that even during her life had no sting. Sorrow was swallowed up in faith and that faith made all the difference. Though we may mourn, we mourn with hope. We feel sorrow at the temporary separation of friends and family but we are mended with the hope that they are not really gone, and not that far away. They are just in the next room over. They are with those loved ones who went before them. In truth, they are reunited with their ancestors. What a joyful thing! Families are forever thanks to the Atonement of Jesus Christ.
I have attended surprisingly many funeral services in my young life. Many were elderly friends whom I'd grown up serving in my Ward. Some of them were neighbors. Some of them were teachers of my at some point. I'm grateful that I got to meet them, give service to them, and in many ways become closer to them through the Church that I otherwise wouldn't have had the opportunities to do. Because of the Church, I knew several hundreds of people in my childhood neighborhood who became like a family to me. I guess when it comes down to it, we ARE Heavenly Father's family. That's why we often refer to each other as "Brother so-and-so" or "Sister so-and so".
I got to speak at my grandma's funeral in June of 2021(See "In Memory of my Grandma Robertshaw"). She and my grandpa Robertshaw were the first ones to join the Church in 1965. Thanks to their decision to be baptized and remain faithful to the gospel, my family and I have been blessed. While we mourned at her funeral, as I believe was rightly due because we loved her and miss her, we know that her spirit lives on in paradise. Her funeral was more like the second funeral service. I know where she is. I know what she's doing. I know what God's plan is. I know that death is just a part of the plan, not the end of it. I know that there is life after death. And I know that with the resurrection, we will have a joy that we can't even comprehend now. She's not as far away as people may think, and I know that we will see each other again one day because we are an eternal family. And I know that these eternal blessings are available to all who will choose to accept the restored gospel of Jesus Christ and keep their covenants that they make with God.
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