"The strength of a nation derives from the integrity of the home"
--- Confucius (Chinese philosopher, poet, & politician; 551 BC - 479 BC)
The first half of this blog post talks about a couple that we got to help teach and baptize. The second half talks about the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints' stance on "Families", including marriage.
**NOTE: If you wish to get in contact with missionaries of the Church to learn more, you can do so at https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/comeuntochrist/requests/missionary-visit
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A CORNY COUPLE
We were blessed with a few baptisms during my time in Bugambilias, some with Elder Z., some with other companions (See "Baptism by Immersion", and "Human"). A local member of the Church asked that we meet with her parents, Lidia and Reyes (See "Member Missionary Work"). Upon meeting us, they agreed to listen to what we had to say but they were pretty committed to their current religion. That is they were committed to Catholicism until they faced the fact that they never attended the Catholic church anyway. You see, they sold tortilla dough (masa) which meant keeping shop at home in case customers came by. It was their livelihood. They needed to make dough to make "dough"! Reyes and Lidia made it from scratch. Unlike modern corn, you can't just boil maize in water. The traditional process of preparing the kernels to make the dough is called “nixtamalization”. The term comes from the Aztec “Nahuatl” language nextamalli, a compound of the terms nextli meaning "ashes" and tamalli meaning "unformed corn dough”; the Mexican staple "Tamale" comes from the same root word. Nixtamalization involves cooking and soaking maize in an alkaline solution, usually lime-water, which makes it easier to grind because the acidity makes it more nutritional and brings out the flavor. After this, Reyes would rinse the kernels with clean water and dump them into a loud grinder that blended it to a fluffy tan pulp, and you had corn masa. The grinder was a wise investment on their part bringing in money at no cost to produce and which could be run out of their living room. It was loud as heck though so when a customer came to the window, besides common courtesy to lend attention to them, we’d have to wait to talk until the grinding was done before we could hear each other.
There is a saying in Mexico, "Sin maiz, no hay país", or in other words, "Without corn, there is no country". It might be interesting to the reader to note that according to the ancient text of the Popol Vuh, a sacred Mayan text, the Gods made three attempts to make creatures that would worship them (See "Patriarchs & Potters"). The first attempts were mud, then wood, both of which were destroyed by water. The third and successful attempt was making humans from a dough made out of white and yellow corn. According to Mayan culture, maize is sacred because it connects them to their ancestors.
Where poverty is, every little bit makes a big difference. That's why it was often difficult to get people to observe the sabbath day and to come to church which consequently made it difficult to baptize. But just the same, there were special individuals willing to take that leap of faith in the Lord that He'd provide. Says a popular verse from the Book of Mormon: Another Testament of Jesus Christ:
"The Lord giveth no commandments unto the children of men, save he shall prepare a way for them that they may accomplish the thing which he commandeth them." (1 Nephi 3:7)
Lidia was a grandmotherly woman with a grandmother’s love. She had more interest in our message than Reyes. Women usually did. We introduced them to the Book of Mormon: Another Testament of Jesus Christ and she started reading it. Like J. and T., as soon as we got talking about the Restoration, all her questions poured out and we had the opportunity to shed some light on them (See "Apostasy and Restoration" and "Hermanas de las Chamoyadas"). We explained the importance of the Sabbath Day and coming to church with us (See "Sabbath Day Observance"). Again, like J. and T., it was a sacrifice to close their business for that day of the week but after some time, they started coming to church. It was monumental! We made steps towards baptism. Reyes was an interesting fellow. Reyes (Rreh-ehs) is Spanish for “kings” and Reyes was certainly the king of his castle. He was stubborn and headstrong in his traditions and philosophies but his eyes glistened as if each rebuttal was a dad joke not to be taken seriously. He was strong and tall with thick wavy gray hair combed back and a thick mustache. He was fun and kind but definitely, a runaway train of a talker when let loose. He’d go off on lengthy tangents to try to dodge our invitations but when we were bold and showed him we were serious, he would quiet down, repent, and pay attention. I imagine at his age, he only saw two young guys in white shirts and ties who had their whole life ahead of them whenever we tried to talk sense into his head. I could feel that he truly respected us but sometimes I think his stubbornness got in the way of the spirit touching his heart much of the time. He was quick to see with his senses but too quick to underestimate the validity and real blessings of the restored gospel.
Lidia clicked fairly quickly although she didn’t grasp everything all at once. We never demanded that of anyone but there are more important things than knowledge, like faith (Alma 32:21). She overflowed with faith and followed through with most of her commitments. She was a big help in encouraging Reyes to keep his. She led by example. She was very much the "senior companion" of the two (See "MIssion Administration"). It was largely thanks to her that they both got baptized on April 23, 2016. After the many visits we had with them, they started to feel like family to me. Family was important to them, as it is to most people. They told us about some of their many children who were now adults. A few of them had gone astray and another had been killed. Their grief as parents was real and deep and brought tears. We testified of how the gospel perpetuates family relationships into the eternities. It is one of my favorite truths of the restored gospel and Heavenly Father's Plan of Happiness. I for one am grateful for their daughter who invited them to learn about the gospel.
THE FAMILY: A PROCLAMATION TO THE WORLD
Family is one of the single biggest priorities of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints. In September of 1995, just two days before I was born, the general leaders of the Church presented an official declaration called, “The Family: A Proclamation to the World”. I encourage you to read it in full here. It's prophetic and central to our belief concerning the family, marriage, family roles, and responsibilities. I wish to share some key points it describes.
MARRIAGE DIVINELY ORDAINED
“The first commandment that God gave to Adam and Eve pertained to their potential for parenthood as husband and wife. We declare that God’s commandment to multiply and replenish the earth remains in force. We further declare that God has commanded that the sacred powers of procreation are to be employed only between man and woman, lawfully wedded as husband and wife”.
Firstly, the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints is resolute in its stance that marriage is a divinely ordained commandment and not a manmade construct. Within Heavenly Father's Plan of Happiness, marriage serves an eternal purpose, both as a way to best help children enter the world in a loving supportive environment, but also to help couples achieve their eternal potential as Sons and Daughters of God together and to have joy (See "Eternal Life: As He Is"). This is an eternal truth and is essential to Heavenly Father's Plan! It is for these reasons that despite some places recognizing same-sex marriage that the Church remains adamant on its position of the eternal significance of marriage between a man and a woman. Furthermore, not only do we believe in marriage, but we believe in complete fidelity within marriage, not only in physical terms but also in thought and word. (See "Chastity and Charity")
I’ve described the process we went through in order to get people married legally while I was a missionary in Mexico (See "Marriage"). Although we believe that eternal marriages can only be performed in the temple because of the Priesthood Keys that Elijah restored (See "Return of the King -- Part 4.2"), a state marriage license is still mandatory. Marriage is the foundation that present and future generations are built upon and is among the highest responsibilities God entrusts us with.
Marriage is more than a formal manifestation of affection between two persons. It is a security and strength for children to be raised and fostered in an ever-increasingly challenging world. The devil knows of its importance and works to destroy the sanctity of marriage between husband and wife and raising families in the gospel. Marriage is a commitment, and in the temple, it is a sacred covenant essential to Eternal Life, the kind of life that Heavenly Father lives.
HUSBAND AND WIFE ARE EQUAL
“By divine design, fathers are to preside over their families in love and righteousness and are responsible to provide the necessities of life and protection for their families. Mothers are primarily responsible for the nurture of their children. In these sacred responsibilities, fathers and mothers are obligated to help one another as equal partners. Disability, death, or other circumstances may necessitate individual adaptation.”
Although the roles of husband and wife vary, each is as important as the other. The husband is not greater than the wife nor the wife than her husband. They are "help-meet" to each other, meaning that they are equal to one another (Gen. 2:18), like the left hand and right hand, they are different, even opposites to each other, but together they interlock and work as one. The unity and equality between husband and wife should be so close that Jesus describes them as if they were a single person. Jesus said:
“…For this cause shall a man leave father and mother and shall cleave to his wife: and they twain shall be one flesh. Wherefore they are no more twain, but one flesh. What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder.” (Matt. 19:5-6)
Spouses are meant to be eternal companions spiritually welded or “sealed” together through priesthood authority and covenants. They are to put their spouse before anyone else. I believe that there are no perfect marriages just as there are no perfect people but there are excellent ones. When two people are willing to work together and pull the yoke with Christ, little things become insignificant and the best in each other will be magnified. Marriage is a commandment, which means it is required, but it is also an eternal blessing. It is the only covenant that cannot be fulfilled alone.
PROPHETIC WARNING
I remind you that this Proclamation was given in September of 1995 by a prophet of God (See "Prophets and Callings"). Years later, the world is a drastically different place and the proclamation is even more important. The filth and moral corruption of the world has multiplied. Evils are immensely easier to access and distribute and stronger in their destructive and deceptive ways. Not unlike the Gadianton robbers, not many years have passed between those "blessed" days and the spiritually threatening days we now live in. Truly, it is my testimony that the declaration “The Family: A Proclamation to the World”, like “The Living Christ” of 2000, was prepared ahead of the time we’d need it most. That day is now. At the conclusion of this document, say the prophets:
“We warn that individuals who violate covenants of chastity, or who abuse spouse or offspring, or who fail to fulfill family responsibilities will one day stand accountable before God. Further, we warn that the disintegration of the family will bring upon individuals, communities, and nations the calamities foretold by ancient and modern prophets”.
I believe that many of the calamities we see today, whether natural, political, or social are consequences of the disregard and violation of the family unit. The family, as God ordained it to be in the beginning, is the heart of God’s Plan for His children. We must defend it at all costs because the temporal and eternal blessings are far too precious to forfeit carelessly, especially when there is something we can do about it.
MY FAMILY
My sister got engaged in the previous October of 2015. I told her before my missionary service that if the opportunity showed itself, not to wait for me to come home to get married. I would have liked to be home for the wedding, but I didn’t want to delay the blessings that follow marriage. I consider her getting married one of those blessings of me serving a Mission. Her wedding invitations were taken in the winter. They were married on March 23, 2016 while I was in Bugambilias. I counted down the days. Neither did the other Elders let me forget it; I kept the invitation taped to the wall above my desk. None of them could fathom how I could let my sister, my only sibling, get married without me. They seemed more stirred up at the thought than me. I was happy for her and had nothing to feel bad about. This was good!
The day came and I kept track of the time, wondering hour to hour what was happening at that very moment. That night, I used their marriage as an excuse to buy everyone pizza for dinner. Nobody could complain about that offer. We celebrated together if only in spirit.
I’d only met my brother-in-law once over the 2015 Christmas Skype but I knew I'd like him (See "Gifts"). I feel like I learned a lot about him through my weekly emails. I got to talk to him for the second time for Mother’s Day a couple of weeks later on Sunday, May 6, 2016, after he was married to my sister. We got to Skype them in a trailer that one of the men in the Ward, Dorante, owned, that is that he owned a trailer company and we Skyped in his office in the trailer in his driveway. I’m so glad Alex is part of our family! I couldn’t ask for a better cuñado (Coo-nyah-doh: brother-in-law). He's the closest thing I have to a brother now.
You know, I don’t know if there will be Wards, or chapels, or even temples in heaven but I do know that we will be organized by families (See "Church Organization"). In order to achieve an eternal family though, family ordinances must be performed in the temple (See "Temples -- Holy Houses of the Lord"). If one is baptized and lives true to that covenant, he or she can qualify to receive the blessings of the temple. For those who don't have that opportunity to receive them in this life, we go to the temple to perform ordinances proxy for them (See "Redeeming the Dead"). That is why temples are more than eye candy. They represent God's eternal family and are essential to our salvation and the salvation of those whom we love. They are the most sacred links between heaven and earth. If we value our relationships, we will do everything necessary to qualify for the blessings of eternal marriage in the temple.
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