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Writer's pictureL Rshaw

112. The Man

“The ultimate measure of a man is not where he stands in moments of comfort and convenience, but where he stands at times of challenge and controversy.”

--- Martin Luther King Jr. (American Baptist Minister & Activist; 1929 - 1968)

People are more than what you see on the outside. Inside, they're rich with all flavors of emotion, dreams and fears, joy and sorrow, strengths and weaknesses, interests and dislikes that make them them. Everybody is going through something in their life. Something that they're just trying to get to the other side of. We all want a good life. But we all have moments along the way that shake us. Even the strongest among us have moments like that. But the only way to become strong is by having weight put on us from time to time.

 

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THE STRONG MAN

Isaac was an animated man, although that is not his real name. His English was perfect as was his Spanish. He was physically one of the strongest men I’d ever met. He looked like the world's definition of tough, tattoos and all. But he'd also seen some hard days in the course of his life. He didn’t pretend that his life was perfect or that he didn’t have things to work on. He knew his weaknesses well but he strived to be a bit better every day, just like all of us have things we need to work on every day.

Isaac was an amazing friend. He lit up every time he saw us. He called us his "brothers", and honestly, I always felt at home with him because he treated us like family. He yearned for the gospel. When he had questions, he asked them and got answers. He prayed from the heart, which was beautiful. His doors were open to us at any time of the day. He'd invite us to food even if he didn't know what he’d have to make us. On Monday, January 25, 2016, he took us out to eat at a local restaurant in the neighborhood and we had baked potatoes about the size of footballs! It was absolutely delicious! I couldn’t finish it so I took it home. This is all stuff that he wanted to do for us, not because we asked him or needed him to.

"Lost and Found" By Greg Olsen

It has been interesting to see, in my experience, that where there is good, there is also opposition to it (2 Nephi 2:11). Isaac was an outstanding man but with it came some of the harder trials of mortality. Yet, despite all it, Isaac never gave up.


What is even more admirable is that he wasn’t afraid to ask for help. Sometimes we would just sit on a bench in the park down the road and talk about life and be emotional support when he had no one else to turn to. It's what Christ would have done. In fact, we had one of our bench talks just the day before, on Sunday, January 24, 2016, which lasted over an hour. The counsel I gave him for the problems he was having was to pray for personal revelation and to be grateful for the good things a little more and dwell on the negative a little less (An actual technique that psychologists and therapists recommend). What the spirit was telling me at that moment was that I didn't have a perfect solution to offer him, but that I should instruct him to pray to find his own solution and to instill emotions of gratitude instead of anger or frustration. The next day, after our potato lunch, he was evidently doing much better and thanked me for saying what I had to him. It goes to show that Heavenly Father knows what people need more than we do sometimes. Sometimes the best thing to do isn't to try to solve people's problems for them. Sometimes the best thing we can do is to just listen and be there for them.


LIKE CHRIST

To mourn with those that mourn and to comfort those who stand in need of comfort (Mos. 18:8-9). I believe that’s largely what we were there for and had done, but it was something else, something great, to sit on a quiet park bench and have this muscular tattooed tough guy ask the two of us scrawny inexperienced teenagers for life advice. It takes real courage to ask for help and it shows a lot of faith to stick through life’s storms. This was a real man.


What makes a man a real man or a woman a real woman? You'll agree that according to the world at large, it's greatly dependent on appearance, possessions, and status. For both men and women, there is pressure to look a certain way and behave a certain way. Success is measured too often by the size of one's paycheck and not by the content of their character. It's become essentially the norm to expect men to be arrogant and self-interested instead of chivalrous and full of integrity. For women, there are even more challenges regarding what society expects a woman to be able to do and be. In too many instances, people are overly preoccupied with their status in society and not invested enough in their eternal identity and potential.


One of the greatest tools we have to combat the pressures of society is to remember that we are literally spirit children of an all-powerful and loving Heavenly Father. Let's remember the fundamental truths found in the prophetic The Family: A Proclamation to the World:

"... All Human Beings -- male and female -- are created in the image of God. Each is a beloved spirit son or daughter of heavenly parents, and, as such, each has a divine nature and destiny..."

Understanding who we are in relation to Heavenly Father is a compass towards everlasting treasures that transcend anything the world has to offer. We are all children of the same God! To Him, we are all of equal worth. Brothers and Sisters, fellow travelers to not just the grave, but to a beautiful eternal home beyond it. His love for us is profound. His concern for us is sincere. His awareness of us is constant. We are created in the image and likeness of God (Gen.1:26-27) and His sole objective is to help us to be like He is, to be where He is, and to have everything that He has! Our worth is not defined by what we look like, what we have, or what others may think of us. We are more than we sometimes give ourselves credit for. The worth of every soul is great in the eyes of God (D&C 18:10) and He will leave the ninety and nine to go after you when you're in need. (Matt. 18:11-12)

A real man or a real woman is Christ-like. They are honest, kind, responsible, full of integrity, trustworthy, compassionate, forgiving, selfless, and loyal. Jesus Christ taught His disciples, "What manner of men [and women] ought ye to be? Verily, I say unto you, even as I am." (3 Nephi 27:27)


Perhaps nothing is as important to God as the people we are becoming. I am of the opinion that everything that happens to us is an opportunity to draw closer to God and to become stronger individuals. So, why do bad things happen to good people? I want to redirect you to a previous blog post of mine called, "Knowest Thou the Condescension of God?" which further addresses this question. But permit me to quote from Marvel's "Captain America: The First Avenger" to give you something to think about, "A strong man who has known power all his life may lose respect for that power but a weak man knows the value of strength and knows compassion".

Compassion is a divine attribute that is too often ignored. Sometimes all people really need is for someone to listen with love, and to mourn with them. Compassion means, "To suffer with" and truly God is a compassionate God. When Mary mourned the passing of her brother Lazarus, even though He knew he was about to be resurrected, Jesus first wept with her (John 11:35). Like all people, even Jesus had a spectrum of emotion, inasmuch as the Son of God felt sorrow and cried from time to time, so do we, men and women alike. Real men are compassionate like God is. I know that we all have down days and maybe even chronic struggles but I believe that every story has a happy ending if you wait long enough. Regardless of our circumstances, we can find joy in this life and guaranteed peace in the life to come through the Atonement of Jesus Christ (See "The Plan of Salvation and Happiness"). Even when we don’t know the answer to life’s questions or trials, we can ever remember that God is at the helm and that the tempest will pass. (See "Fear Not")


Isaac’s challenges prevented him from being baptized while I was there. He knew he had things to sort out but that didn’t stop him from coming to church every week in the meantime. He was more reliable than most! If he’d miss one Sunday, even for something out of his control, he was quick to apologize (although that really wasn’t necessary). Conversion is not simply being baptized a member of the church. Conversion is a personal relationship with the Lord, which is what he was developing. The purpose of life is not just about what we do, it is about who we become. As much as we anxiously await the destination, there is purpose in the journey, and the day-to-day choices we make along the way to becoming what God wants us to be, even as He is.

 

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