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Writer's pictureL Rshaw

76. Was Blind But Now I See

"A blind person who sees is better than a seeing person who is blind"

--- Persian proverb

When I was in college, I took a 1 credit class called "Preview of Medicine". Once a week, someone in the medical field would come in and teach us a bit about their job. One week, an ophthalmologist came in and showed us a video of laser eye surgery being performed. From the looks and sounds coming from the class, everyone was fascinated. And then there was me. Sitting in my seat, hunched over in a cold sweat, trying not to pass out. When it comes to shows that deal with bodies like crime shows or medical shows, even shows with prop corpses and blood, I have no problem, but when it comes to the eye, I can't. Maybe subconsciously, that's why I don't make eye contact quite as much as I could. Who knows?

 

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If you're just tuning in, it was the summer of 2015. I was a full-time missionary of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints living in Reynosa, Mexico. At this point, I was almost a year in. I was paired up with a buddy of mine, Elder Scott, tasked with helping people learn about the restored gospel of Jesus Christ.


A TALE OF TWO BLIND MEN

Elder Fortaleza and his previous companion Elder Matheny left us a recent convert to continue visiting named Baltazar (See "3rd Area: Riveras, Reynosa"). Baltazar was an older gentleman probably in his seventies. He’d lost his sight a few years earlier due to type-2 diabetes.


Type-2 Diabetes results from excess sugar in the blood and accounts for about 90 to 95 percent of all diagnosed cases of diabetes in adults. As you likely know, the importance of blood circulation is to transport oxygen (and other things) to the organs throughout the body. We can see because eyes are able to capture light and transform them into electrical signals in the retina. Like any other organ in the body, the back of the eye contains tiny blood vessels. Diabetic retinopathy, which is the most common cause of blindness in adults, happens when high blood sugar levels cause the vessels in the eye to swell, and in some cases, break and leak. In other cases, the vessels can be blocked. When the blood vessels in the retina don’t work properly, the retina doesn’t work and the person becomes blind.

There are many factors that contribute to diabetes such as diet, age, and physical activity. Unfortunately, the Mexican diet isn’t always the best. I’ve already mentioned the Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory array of sweets (See "Food, Glorious Food -- Part 2"). And the overall diet was rich in sodium and grease; everyone claimed that salt counteracted spice but I haven’t found any medical evidence to support that claim yet (See "Food, Glorious Food -- Part 1"). Studies in 2010 reported seven out of ten Mexicans were overweight with a third clinically obese. Now that’s not to say that we in America or any other country are doing any better, but it just goes to say that things that can be controlled such as diet and exercise should be taken advantage of when possible. I understand that some things such as genetics are out of our control but many risk factors pertaining to our health are within our control.

Baltazar was anything but obese, but he did have diabetes. Age was a probable factor but he was a pretty skinny man. His condition necessitated snacking on vegetables and other healthy things to keep his blood sugar down. Like anyone else with diabetes, he’d have to prick his finger for a glucose blood test at least once a day (for some people up to seven times a day). Because of his physical fragility, he had no issues with living the Word of Wisdom. We didn’t have to convince him that it was good because he already knew it was. We usually found him shirtless resting on his hammock outside, instead of inside in the dark (even though he couldn’t see either way), napping, listening to the radio, or visiting with family. He was light-spirited and quick to crack a joke. A true classic grandfather. He was kind and patient and a very good listener. He looked forward to our visits and never turned us away, even though we usually showed up out of the blue. One of the things that impressed me the most was how childlike his faith was. His answers to our questions were always sharp and simple and brilliant. Like a child who speaks the plain truth, Baltazar said it like it was. He had a great mind despite his old age, and ears to hear.


Because he was blind, he had a lot of time to kill. We managed to get him audio recordings of the Book of Mormon: Another Testament of Jesus Christ and he got through listening to most of it within a few weeks (although he admits he didn't always listen attentively). What he lacked visually, he compensated with listening. Elder Scott and I liked singing hymns for him and anyone else who was there, namely his adult daughter who took care of him, and her two children (his grandsons). Of all the people we could have sung for, I feel like he appreciated it the most. (See "Sing!")


His wonderful grandchildren would usually sit in on the discussions. Their father was opposed to the idea of them getting baptized but the light of the gospel shone in their eyes just the same. Seriously, the grandchildren were so sweet and very intelligent for their age. We made quick friends with them though like most children, they were a bit shy. You got to love children! (See "Become As Little Children")


Elder Brogan and Elder Urias were teaching another elderly gentleman I shall refer to as Beto. Beto was also blind. Unlike Baltazar who was a scrawnier gentleman, Beto was a bit on the heavier side. Baltazar had a higher grandfatherly pitch, almost like an elderly cartoon character, while Beto had a deep rumbling bass voice. Beto always wore sunglasses like Stevie wonder. He was a respectful and kind man as well but had more problems with the Word of Wisdom. I had the opportunity to help teach him three or four times on intercambios (See "Intercambios"). He lived in a room above his parents who helped care for him but one of Beto’s greatest desires was to help support them, pay them back somehow, although he didn’t know how. I don’t know what caused Beto’s blindness but he smoked a lot. His room was almost always pitch black because he had no need for lights, not even windows that I can think of, and everything smelled of cigarette smoke. The air felt extra damp and suffocating, like a dungeon but above ground level. It was not a very pleasant place to teach but it was all he had. We usually tried to keep the lessons fairly brief because the smell was so toxic. All in all, though they were both blind, Baltazar and Beto were quite opposite in their appearance, lifestyles, and environment—living out in the open and the light versus dark isolation.


Beto started coming to church, started listening to the Book of Mormon on audio like Baltazar, and was giving up smoking. He was doing well and amidst the signs of temptation and withdrawal, he was optimistic. A miraculous thing started to happen as he gave up smoking. Beto started regaining some of his sight back!


We were all blown away! “Surely, this was a blessing of keeping the commandments”, I thought. We were so happy for him. He still couldn’t see a whole lot but if there was enough light, he could distinguish silhouettes and shapes which was a huge improvement from complete nothingness.


Baltazar and Beto both came to church. Baltazar had a ride to get him to church. And I don't know too much about Beto because the other Elders, Brogan and Urias, took care of him, except I remember one day we went over to Beto's house and we all walked to church together. It didn’t matter that someone had to serve as their walking buddy from one room to another. It was a small thing well worth it. All it took was for their hand to be placed on the shoulder of the guide. It was something symbolic to me as it could be symbolic for you the more you think about it. We all need somebody to lean on. Life is just one big game of "follow the leader".


We did everything we could for Beto to keep his faith strong in both God and himself but things started taking a turn for the worse. It was evident whenever we went to visit, the return of pungent cigarette smoke. He couldn’t mask it. He was probably acclimated to the smell but we noticed it like a toxic punch to the face as soon as the door opened. We could see the used cigarettes scattered on the floor he'd probably forgotten were there since he couldn’t see them. It was heartbreaking. We gave him a chance to come forth in honesty and admit his problem. He denied it at first, but we were looking right at the evidence. He eventually confessed. I wasn’t nearly as upset at him lying to us as I was that he started losing faith in himself. And I really don't think he was giving up on God, as he was giving up on himself. We did everything we could to encourage him to get back on track and we kept loving him but it was to no prevail. No matter what professions of re-commitment came out of his mouth, his actions increasingly went against his word. He wouldn’t give it up. The hook of addiction was wedged in his mouth. (See "You Will Be Freed")


I would never say anyone is beyond hope or repentance, but during my time there, he couldn’t make the full circle. Still, I hope that one day he does, or did, because I know all things are possible when God commands them. How great it would be if change was easy and automatic but change is a choice and a personal one at that. We can't repent on behalf of anyone but ourselves. And repentance is never accidental.

Jesus healed many of the blind because of their faith in Him. On one occasion, He made clay and anointed the eyes of a man blind from birth and told him to go wash in the pool of Siloam. He went his way, washed, and came seeing. He was questioned by the Pharisees who could not accept the miracle of a man who stood and spoke as both recipient and witness to Jesus’ wonder. They refused to see the blind man’s recovery as proof of Jesus’ goodness, stubborn as stones they were. They couldn't decide among themselves whether Jesus was a sinner or man of God. Said the newly seeing man, “Whether he be a sinner or no, I know not; one thing I know, that, whereas I was blind, now I see” (John 9:25). They cast him out in anger. When he was cast out, Jesus found him and said unto him:

“Dost thou believe on the Son of God?’ He answered and said, ‘Who is he, Lord, that I might believe on him?’ And Jesus said unto him, ‘Thou hast both seen him, and it is he that talketh with thee.’ And he said, ‘Lord, I believe’. And he worshiped him.” (vs. 35-38)
"And Jesus said, ‘For judgment I am come into this world, that they which see not might see; and that they which see might be made blind.’ And some of the Pharisees which were with him heard these words, and said unto him, ‘Are we blind also?’ Jesus said unto them,’ If ye were blind, ye should have no sin: but now ye say, ‘We see’; therefore, your sin remaineth.” (John 9:40-41)

Honestly, I don’t know how or why Beto gained some eyesight but then regressed to bad habits and why Baltazar lived a healthier and truer life and yet remained blind. Challenges in life befall both the righteous and otherwise (See "Knowest Thou the Condescension of God?"). But aside from physical sight, our entirely blind man "saw things to the end". The battle Beto had was real but he tried to hide his mistakes and reverted to them instead of taking steps to prevent them from happening again; he remained in both literal and spiritual darkness. We can’t keep secrets from an all-knowing God. The first step in recovery is acknowledging the problem for what it is.

“For every one that doeth evil hateth the light, neither cometh to the light, lest his deeds should be reproved. But he that doeth truth cometh to the light, that his deeds may be made manifest, that they are wrought in God.” (John 3:20-21)

STAY AT THE TREE

Near the beginning of the Book of Mormon: Another Testament of Jesus Christ, the prophet Lehi has a dream full of symbolism. He sees multitudes of people pressing through mists of darkness towards a Tree of Life. The mists of darkness made it impossible to see the end but they could feel along a rod of iron that led them straight to it. Those who let go of the iron rod wandered off and were lost. All who held on to the rod at least made it to the tree.

There was another group of an equally sad end as those who let go early:

“And it came to pass that I beheld others pressing forward, and they came forth and caught hold of the end of the iron rod; and they did press forward through the mist of darkness, clinging to the rod of iron, even until they did come forth and partake of the fruit of the tree… but after they had partaken of the fruit of the tree they did cast their eyes about as if they were ashamed…” (1 Nephi 8:24). “And after they had tasted of the fruit they were ashamed, because of those that were scoffing at them, and they fell away into forbidden paths and were lost” (vs. 25, 28).

But not everyone fell away. There was another group who “…did press their way forward, continually holding fast to the rod of iron, until they came forth and fell down and partook of the fruit of the tree” (vs. 30). They determined to stay when they sat down. They planted their roots at the root of the tree. They had made it to the destination and had no plans to go anywhere else.


In the dream, there was a building filled with worldly distractions and people mocking those at the tree insomuch that some left the tree and joined in mocking the faithful. They lured some away but those who sat down by the tree “heeded them not.” (vs. 33)


The interpretation of the dream is given in chapters 11 to 14 of that same book of 1 Nephi. We are the people, the tree of life is the Love of God, the mists of darkness are temptations, the building is the world, and the iron rod is the word of God. From this story, we can learn that the determination to stay is just as important as reaching the destination. We cannot give up after we have arrived at the truth. We have to have the determination to stay in it and not go elsewhere. There will be all sorts of pulling forces that seek to deter righteousness but if we give them no heed, they can have no power over us. That is why enduring to the end is a component of the gospel. The things of the world may blind us occasionally but if we hold fast to the iron rod word of God, we will never be steered astray. Says the familiar hymn, first written by English poet and Anglican clergyman John Newton in 1779:


"Amazing Grace, how sweet the sound

That saved a wretch like me

I once was lost but now I’m found

Was blind but now I see"

 

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