"'Closed time-like curve' is the jargon for time travel. It means you go out, come back and meet yourself in the past"
--- Kip Thorne (American theoretical physicist; 1940 - Present)
Imagine being able to watch a highlight reel of your life. To be able to recapture some of the happiest memories you have. To be reunited with the friendliest ghosts of your past. Such is how it felt to be able to revisit some of the friends I'd made over the course of my nearly 2 years in Mexico. Whereupon notice of my destination to-be Tamaulipas on the border of Mexico filled me with some fear of the potential danger prevalent in the state, this land was now like a second home to me. Whereas I once was a stranger to it all, filled with a feeling of total isolation and inadequacy, I now looked back at the friendships forged and found it all to be well worth the hard times too. Life is purposefully filled with opposition so that we may grow. And grow we did and do.
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In the Reynosa, Mexico Mission at the time, that is to say in 2016, homebound missionaries were granted permission to visit converts in their last three days. Three days to say farewell, to spend time with those we’d grown to love is not a lot of time but it’s probably more than a more generous Mission President would allow (See "Mission Administration"). It felt strange not having to plan lessons or appointments, to use our planner or have morning scripture study, and so forth. Free time felt like a foreign concept because we were so accustomed to keeping a tightly fixed schedule. To be honest, it felt wrong, almost sinful, not knocking on doors or carrying around our backpacks through the city like the rest of the Mission was doing at that exact moment. To realize that everyone else was still working while we weren't felt weird. But it was such a blessing to be able to visit a few familiar faces and to see the fruits of our labors. It was like time travel revisiting old places and people and memories. I am grateful for the pizza party we had to be able to see everyone in the Mission one last time all at once; this time, we got to choose which non-missionary friends to visit (See "Assemble"). It was so timeless to finally see the big picture of the puzzle that I’d been assembling in those two years. Quite literally, I was seeing, at least in part, my life and legacy flash before my eyes.
FROM VALLE HERMOSO TO THE NEW MISSION HOUSE
I’d taken the bus from Valle Hermoso northeast to Matamoros to pick up Elder Gray (See "Eurus") before we went hard west to Reynosa (since we still couldn’t be alone as missionaries, even on the bus; see "Welcome to the MTC!").
For our last three nights, we would be sleeping in the mission house. Let me specify: New Mission House. To appreciate what I’m about to describe, remember the treachery of the first mission house I slept in my first night twenty-two months earlier. It wasn’t entirely new by the time I got to sleep in the new mission house (since I’d slept there the night before I left for Valle Hermoso and had belonged to the mission for over a year now) but it was relatively new to me just the same. It was remarkably close to the Mission Offices. It was quite possibly the biggest house I’d ever seen, mansion-like, or it was probably just me being so acclimatized to the small houses and apartments of Mexico that this one felt abnormally spectacular by comparison. The office Elders slept in the bedrooms upstairs. There were four bunk beds downstairs (for 8 people) and I don't remember much of the layout upstairs; but there were extra blankets and such if people wanted to sleep on the floor or whatnot and considering there were 11 OF US GOING HOME, you'd expect to make your own arrangements (See "Culture Shock of Mexico"). The kitchen was large and modern, complete with an oven (which few people in Mexico had; see "Food, Glorious Food"). The fridge was grand stainless steel, not minuscule like the rest of the mission had to put up with. The dining room had a proper glass dining table with cushioned ornate dark wood chairs and a small chandelier hanging from the ceiling. It had air conditioning (which worked best when doors closed off the rooms). It wasn’t sparkling clean, and it was still musty and humid but this was a significant improvement compared to most places. Another downside was the incessant high-pitched beep from the security alarm that would go off every minute or so that we couldn’t turn off, and the chorus of crickets in the summer night. Other than that, I didn’t have much to complain about. It was only for a few nights.
Elder Gray and I showed up just minutes after all the other Elders had left for their visits. All the beds were taken and suitcases were everywhere. The suits and belongings seemed to bear the personality and spirit of the missionary they belonged to, whether it was Elder Brogan's Broncos blanket, or the ties, or even the different shades of black, gray, and tan of their suits. I snagged a spare mattress and placed it on the dining room floor under the air conditioning vent. It was actually surprisingly comfortable. It might have been even better than the bunk beds. It was roomy and quieter, and I got cool air on my face. What more could I have asked for?
DAY ONE OF VISITS: RIVERAS
Elder Gray and I decided to visit Riveras first since we both had that in common. We visited J. and T. (See "Hermanas de las Chamoyadas"). Unfortunately, they were not selling Chamoyadas that day. After visiting with T., we asked if J. was going to come out. She told us that she was sick. I wasn’t going to leave without seeing J.! We asked if we could go in and give her a priesthood blessing, which we did (See "Administering to the Sick and Afflicted"). She was weak, pale, barely able to keep her eyes open, and scarcely able to speak. I gave the blessing and Elder Gray helped, that she would begin recovery immediately and find the strength to continue about her daily tasks. The room was quiet, reverent, not of fear but of faith. We left with content spirits. We had a nice visit with the Muñoz family around the corner, whom we both wanted to see, even though Tania wasn’t there (See "An Infinite-Finite Solution"). We visited a few of Elder Gray’s friends too who had been baptized after I left the area. It was a good day. We had a good talk as we rested on the sidewalk about how strange it felt to finally be going home. But we were happy. I would have thought that making time to visit everybody would have been an impossibly stressful activity but when the time came, I didn’t feel too pressured to visit anybody. I didn’t feel any regret not visiting most people. I don’t think that’s a bad thing. In my heart, I think that in many cases a second goodbye after that first goodbye of leaving the area was redundant. And even then, no goodbye is forever. At the end of the day, we went back to the Mission House to sleep. We expected the gang (including what remained of District D) to be there or at the very least the Office Elders. We saw the latter at the mission offices just around the corner but they left with President Regalado in his car to do other stuff, probably in preparation for our departure (See "Mission Administration"). I didn’t expect them to be gone for too long but they were. When we got to the Mission home, the doors were locked and the lights were off. We waited a while to see if someone would show up but no one did. It was dark and only getting later. At length, we broke into the mission home. It seemed like the only option and the logical thing to do. It was alarmingly easy to do. We just lifted the garage door and went in. The garage door was unlocked. It wasn’t like we were doing anything illegal getting into our own home. I’m just glad no one else besides us missionaries ever broke in.
We took our time getting ready for bed and waited for the others. It was eerily dark and the whole spacious building seemed to echo the smallest noise we made. A step. A cough. A whisper. We didn’t talk much, just because we were tired and content, but the soothing sound of summer crickets outside and the blow of the air conditioning seemed plenty loud. The fact that no one was home yet considering we'd always had a tight curfew of being home at 9 pm and in bed by 10:30 pm, was what probably troubled me the most since we were coming up on midnight. After waiting a few hours for company to show up, we gave up realizing that there was no point and we went to sleep. I expected to see them when I woke up, or they would wake me up when they got home with their District D banter. The office Elders got home around 1:00 in the morning, and the others never showed up. Good thing we didn't wait for anyone to let us in.
Turns out that they stayed the night in another city (I want to say Matamoros). We regrouped the next day. We tried to get a sense of where everybody wanted to go so we could pair off accordingly but nobody wanted to go to the places I wanted. So instead, I offered to go with Elder Richmond to visit the people he wanted to visit in Riveras again because nobody else wanted to (See "Faith and Trust"). I figured it was better to forget myself and do something nice for him.
DAY TWO OF VISITS: RIVERAS
We had some good visits, including visiting the Muñoz family again. Tania was there this time and we had a great visit with her. We also visited J. and T. again since they were just around the corner. To our surprise, they were both outside on their chairs like usual! J. was completely better and lively as ever. It was truly a blessing and a witness to me once again of the power of the priesthood, the last blessing I would give as a missionary. We got one last picture together. T.’s son came by all smiley-faced and gave me a hug too like he always did. It was harder for them to say goodbye than it was for me. I’d been preparing mentally to go home for months so my departure wasn’t so hard. But they wished I would have stayed longer because her son was turning eight the next month and was preparing to be baptized himself (See "Baptism by Immersion"). I would have liked to be there but I had to go home.
On another positive note, T.’s husband got baptized within that same year after her baptism. J. and T. have both been to the temple since then and continue as some of the strongest members of the church in the Riveras ward (See "Temples -- Holy Houses of the Lord"). Maybe it was easy saying farewell because I knew that they were more than okay in the Lord’s hands. I knew that this wasn’t an end, it was a beginning.
Furthermore, Tania has since been sealed to her family (See "Eternal Family"). She married a returned missionary in the temple and have a son now.
The best part of being a missionary is seeing people's lives change and being a part of it.
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